"Excuse me--I can't help but notice that you're about to jump off the back of a boat and you're still holding me. I'm quite flattered that you'd like to make use of my advertised underwater capabilities as you have done many times in the past, but I wanted to let you know that those have ceased to be, and it would be best if you left me on the boat.
Regards,
Your Camera."
As there is not such a message, I naively dove in, and without warning or goodbye, my camera captured some fishes
and died.
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