I have a lesson

My second semester will end in three weeks, and I still haven't shown you my classroom!

This is the English room at Naedeok Middle School, where I teach on Thursdays and Fridays.


There are 36 seats, but I have a couple of classes with 38 students, so sometimes they have to share desks!

I wanted to share this. It's from an activity where I gave groups of students an answer (like "because it's fun!") and they wrote a question to go with it (like "Why do you play soccer?")

The answer here was "I feel happy."

(Monkey and People was the name of their team.)

zombie eh eh eh

Second semester is winding down and there is only one more day of classes before winter break. During winter break, I'll teach introduction-to-the-next-book and a week-long English day camp. The students will come back for one week in February for graduation (this strikes me as very weird) and then get two more weeks off for "spring break" before the new school year starts in March.

But exams are over, kids are restless, and they don't even seem concerned that there are zombies hanging out outside the school.



For the last week, I've had my students create zombie survival kits and plans of action.

One of the groups in a 7th grade girls class included this list, which made me happy:
"bomb, gun, tank, sweater, noodle, bullet proof full-body suit."

One of the groups in an 8th grade boys classes had a list of heroes:
Optimus Prime, Bear Grylls, Spiderman, the Best Sniper in the World, Iron man and Lee Myung-bak (the president.) I said, "won't you need food?" and one of the students said, "eat Lee Myung-bak!" Okay. These are desperate times.

telephonin' me

I know I haven't written in awhile, and I do have pictures of a beautiful hike I did with Autumn, and I'm still meaning to post pictures of both of my schools and all that, but today's entry is brought to you by my students.

I love my students.

I work at two large middle schools in Jangyu (small town of 100,000 people.) Each of my middle schools has a little over 1000 students, so my superior math skills tell me that just over 2% of the population of Jangyu are my students. The people on the street around my house after school are probably 60% my students. And it's great. Twice this week middle schoolers have taken time out of their day to help me with every day tasks.

First, on my way home Monday, in order to put some figurative soft, ruffly sunshine on my shoulders I stopped to finally buy the golden yellow ruffly scarf I've been fondling briefly on my way home each day. I asked the lady how much it cost ...and she didn't do the helpful "this many thousands" with her fingers and our misunderstanding grew and then one of my students said, "Hi, Emily" and I said "I want to buy this scarf. Can you tell me how much it costs?" just like any EFL dialogue I would use in my class. And then I bought a ruffly yellow scarf for 10,000 won and then the student gave me part of her donut, unsolicited!

Then, just now I got home to a "sorry we missed you!" sticker on my door from a courier. I'm expecting a package from my mom, and it looked like they were going to try and deliver the package again tomorrow. I went back outside where a few of my students were hanging out in front of a restaurant and showed them the slip. One of them called the courier for me and told them to deliver the package to my school tomorrow instead of my house!

Additionally, my students are funny.

Today in a lesson on giving advice, one pair of students submitted:
Problem: my pet dog is getting fat.
Advice: I think you should eat your pet.

Last week my students made telephone conversations. I told my classes to be creative, have fun, and stop threatening people with box cutters! Some gems:

Australopithecus called Homo Erectus asking if
he can make him a fire.

2MB called Obama to tell him that North Korea is
attacking and ask for help. And money after the
war is over.

(2MB is Lee Myung-Bak, the president of South Korea--2 sounds like Lee.)

God called the Undertaker and asks to wrestle.

God called a bee and asks it to the God-bugs
dance party that evening.

Spiderman called Obama and asks him to a
movie.

I hope my students brightened your day at least a fraction of the amount they brightened mine!

shiny and new

Monday morning, I taught my first five classes. My main (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) school is co-ed, but the classes are gender segregated. I taught three classes of boys and two classes of girls. My first week of lessons is just an “about me” introduction, a brief speaking exercise, and a game. I opened the floor for questions after the introduction, and every class asked my age (which is totally normal in Korean culture) and my height. And every class gasped when I said 178 cm.

Halfway through the day, a couple of girls giggled into the office and I received a really sweet letter/request to be teacher's pet(?)



I'm not sure if she's questioning her spelling or my hair color. Anyway, I survived.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

It disappeared over the weekend, but on Friday I wrote a "Welcome Back" message for Autumn and her Beginners 1 class signed it. Luckily I took a picture.

Goodbye, blue sky

After a long week of observing TEFL students in the morning and teaching kids in the evening, I'm finished. On my last day, Lucky and Bruce invited me to their house for a wonderful vegetarian feast just for me. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

My last day was Ryan's last day too, and the staff let me take his very serious, sad, pensive picture from the "Pictures of People Who Work Here" board. I gave some thought to how to use this wonderful resource, and came up with these:



Thanks to Bert's mad security-guard skills, I was able to tape them up in the house of Ryan (and Autumn, and Bert, and Christian) as a surprise. He had found three out of eight when I went over later for a last-night-in-Ban-Phe hula hooping session with Autumn.

Today I get my last paycheck today and then it's off to Laos for a new adventure. I won't have the burden luxury of constant Internet access, so don't expect many pictures or blog entries. Kinda like last time I was an unemployed vagabond. I did schedule a couple of entries for later this week, but those are old news.

A Circular Motion

This week, I am observing and giving feedback to the current TEFL students as they do their teaching practices. The teaching practices are at the monastery school where I took my TEFL course in October.

I remember this room well. In the beginning was so intrigued by the windows, and the early afternoon rainy season thunderstorms. Sometimes cats would yowl on the roof outside those windows, or come inside and say hello. Sometimes enormous insects would fly in and swoop down at us.



Everyone who taught that class is gone now, off on different adventures.

And I'll be an unemployed vagabond again after this week. With a hula hoop.

Come, my lady

I took my immersion student on a field trip to the Sobha Botanical Garden here in Ban Phe. The gardens include a museum in a traditional teak house. Impressive door handles, eh?


Unfortunately, I don't know the names of most of the plants at the garden.


But the English word for this is "butterfly."

I see you shiver with antici... pation

Was it wicked of me to leave you with such a cliffhanger? Did you lose sleep wondering whether I looked like a sausage in a bubblegum-colored polo shirt?

While Thailand is generally not the place to assert your individuality, I changed my plans only a little to err on the side of there-were-people-in-feathered-tophats-at-the-King's-Birthday and decided to wear this:


No one said anything, and I looked super cute. The buttons on the pink shirt are little sparkly beads. And yes, those are jellyfish on my dress! $1/yard mystery fabric: one thing I miss in the States.

Children's Day was lovely! The sparkly sign fluttered in the wind like an octofly!


There was this game, wherein you try to eat a donut armed only with your face.


There was this game, for which the children segregated themselves automatically and efficiently by gender.


There was this game, which appeared for awhile to be an elaborate hoax fabricated from kevlar or something.


There was this game, wherein the real Ryan and the pretend Ryan were dangerously indistinguishable.


And there was this kid, whose tee shirt made my day:

My Donkeypede has the silliest features

Today I will talk about the Children's Day preparations that filled my last week. Tomorrow I will talk about Children's Day itself.

Every year Ban Phe has a big Children's Day celebration. Usually Siam English Training School just gives out delicious (smelling) barbecue ribs, which gives the school quite a popular booth. This year, though, the school wanted games and contests and prizes!

On Tuesday, we had a big meeting about Children's Day in the afternoon. Autumn and I would get to make a big, sparkly Children's Day sign:


And I painted a pin-the-tie-on-the-teacher teacher, complete with glittery maple leaf buckle:


And example drawings for the Animal Magic contest, an assignment which Emily relished more than should a professional woman of 26:


Before the big meeting on Tuesday, Autumn and I had planned our outfits over lunch. We settled finally on full-skirted dresses that would allow the glorious combination of freedom of movement, washability and breathability required for a day of herding children in the sun. Our faces gaped in horror when, almost as an afterthought, one of the Thai staff asked what color *shirts* we should wear and the answer was provided: pink.

We knew what they meant. They meant the bubblegum-colored polo shirts from the King's Birthday. Could I endure a *second* well-photographed day looking like a pepto sausage? Bubblegum polo shirts offer little in the way of breathability or freedom of movement. A dark cloud settled over Ban Phe as the rest of the staff emptied the meeting room and Autumn and I sat, staring at one another, unable to speak. The weather spoke for us, and the darkened skies cracked and released more sorrow than we could have expressed in words.

I hate to end on such a terrible note, but you can read about the actual occurrences of Children's Day, including my wardrobe choices, tomorrow.

Throw your arms around the world

In preparation for Christmas Eve at Siam School, the boss asked Autumn and I to come up with some games for the children. Collecting party games is kind of an obsession so my enthusiasm made up for Autumn's lack thereof. We borrowed dresses from each other and got all pretty before we realized that we would also be in charge of keeping the children entertained/busy/away from the adults at the actual party. Oh, the children.

In gratitude to Oliver and his bar, the services of which were greatly appreciated after that party was over, we helped our lovely Annie cover the bar in tinsel garlands on Christmas morning. Afternoon, really.



Christmas in Ban Phe is not a big affair, and the three of us we were the only people at the Tawan Inn when we arrived for their fancy, delicious actual-Christmas-dinner. Oh, and I can recommend Zombieland. Happy Christmas, everybody!

Sweet Home

I live on Soi Suan Son. I try very hard not to say "Swan Song." Both sides of the street are lined with these glorious buildings. Each one begins at the bottom with a garage. Some people use them as garages, at least one is completely full of coconut shells, and some have been converted to restaurants and karaoke bars.



At my school (which is a triple-wide) the bottom floor is lobby, classrooms, kitchen and office. The second floor is classrooms, and the third and fourth are rooms for employees and students.



I live on the fourth floor. Each step is, of course, a slightly (or drastically, depending) different height than the step below it. They're wonderful buildings and most of them are empty. People say that the entire street is haunted, and you'll notice that there are no spirit houses visible on the street. I share my room with a few geckos but haven't encountered any spirits yet.

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing.

Tim disappointed his parents by enrolling in clown college out of high school. After graduation, he was given a coveted spot as a new clown at Ringling Brothers despite having no additional talents like juggling or tightrope walking. Instead, because of his small size no one would have to alter the costumes.

He was finally fired after locking a midget in a trunk, which is always a story for another day.

Here is he in his full get-up:
http://www.startribune.com/video/45512817.html

Tim went back and forth between clowndom and radio, and is no longer very small. He is now an Old Radio Guy, and you know how they are. He answers the phone overnight here at TEFL International/Siam School and his hobbies include balloon animals, collecting seashells, cooking tasty lunches for his coworkers, and updating the alumni blog.

I just noticed this new entry about my job!
http://alumni.tefllife.com/2009/11/25/sinecure/

He's got a gift for spin, I tell you what.

Work all night on a drink of rum.

On Monday I started work here in Ban Phe at the Siam English Training School. I'm one of two teachers (the other is a girl from the same TEFL class as me) doing the Immersion English program right now. The program involves 3 hours of English lessons in the morning and then an activity for a few hours in the evening, and it's geared toward people who come here for a few weeks at a time on holiday. The English lessons are English lessons, but the activities make the job fairly interesting.

Yesterday the lesson and activity were combined: I took my ward (right now there is only one immersion student, but this will change next week when there will be two) to Ko Samet (which I learned in preparing for my lesson is also called "Magical Crystal Island" as it shall henceforth be known on this blog) and we had our lesson there and then went swimming and lay in the sun. It's a hard life.

This afternoon's activity was a visit to the Monkey Temple. I was trepidatious on seeing this in the list of activities, and it was a surprise this morning that the temple would be the day's activity. I changed to my most monkey-proof outfit and pinned up my hair. I got to ride in a sweet 1957 Mercedes. As the car slowly chugged up the hill to the temple, I noticed that some of the forest had been cleared to widen the road. At the top of the hill, the temple awaited. This time, though, there were about 20 monks milling about, music playing from a boom box near the temple, and folks were actively working on renovations.

It's a beautiful building so I'm glad that it won't be abandoned anymore, but at the same time it makes me sad that it probably won't be overrun with monkeys for much longer. Eventually the monkeys came out of the forest and we handed them our bananas, but there were too many people inside the gate of the temple for them to venture in at all. It was a fairly benign excursion.





There were many more babies than I saw before, but no sign of the Baron. I think he's either planning a large-scale attack to coincide with the temple reopening, or scouting a better location for his Barony. Or both.



After shooing the monkey off of the Mercedes, we went to the night market where I bought the second best tee shirt I've ever seen.



This is hard work, but somebody has to do it.

You thought the leaden winter would bring you down forever

I visited a magical island this weekend. Ko Samet is the reason Ban Phe is on the map, but this was my first visit. I was deliriously happy all weekend until the very end, which was still a perfect ending.

On Saturday after being booted out of Condochain and bidding farewell to the folks who won't stay in Ban Phe, I caught the ferry with two girls from my TEFL class. On arriving on the island we found some available bungalows (very rustic accommodation) and went down to the beach for drinks. We met a cute, sarcastic, whiny Canadian who we joined for dinner at a restaurant on the beach a while later. The food was wonderful. The sand was white. The drinks were abundant.

After dinner, we walked to a hookah bar on the beach. Rugs were laid out on the sand, and there were pillows to lean upon and short tables. The four of us shared a hookah and I listened to the music from the bar and watched the fire dancers down the beach and the lanterns floating up to the heavens for good luck and it was beautiful. This island's culture and inhabitants are so intentional and warm and transient, like Ren Faire or Khao San without the touts.


Paisley Glen or beachside hookah bar?

I didn't think it could get better, but inside the club at the hookah bar there was a wonderful cover band. They played the Cranberries and Guns and Roses and... uh... Shawty got Low. It was FANTASTIC. The singers, the guitar, the dancing, the energy, the music.

We left when the band finished their set and it went back to a dj and walked back the other way to a gay bar on the beach. I dipped in the ocean with one of my companions and it was beautiful. Then we headed back to our bungalows, and found that one of them was full of ants, everywhere. We all slept in one big bed then and in the morning realized we had shared the bungalow with this guy:

I am very glad that we didn't see the spider until the morning. Otherwise we would have had to sleep outside. It is by far the largest spider I've seen outside of a tarantula, and it is fast.



In the morning, we met up with another friend and found a secluded beach with white sand and still turquoise water and just played and swam in the ocean, laid on the beach and ate delicious food. I had an ovaltine shake and banana with coconut milk. While resting for awhile I played some music (it's odd that I haven't listened to my ipod at all on this trip until now.) I put it on shuffle and "Tales of Brave Ulysses" came on and it was perfect.

The mermaids here are whiter than the sand.


I was completely enchanted by Ko Samet, but had to leave to catch the ferry at around 5 pm. I came back to the school here in Ban Phe where I am spending one night before leaving tomorrow for Cambodia with a couple of others. After dinner I walked back to the school with a friend and we stopped at a restaurant that was having a lawn karaoke party with two of the TEFL employees, including our trainer. Both of them are leaving in the coming weeks, one to Singapore and one to England. It was wonderful to sing karaoke with them. I sang three songs--Proud Mary was a duet, it was great. I Will Survive was great. The other was Take it to the Limit by the Eagles. But the music was not right. It was just a generic drumbeat and I couldn't sing to it! Especially with a song that is so slow, Emily singing that song was the most horrible thing I have ever heard. It was better to watch them sing karaoke. When I left it was bittersweet because they're both leaving while I'll be in Cambodia and they're pretty cool people who it would have been fun to get to know outside of the TEFL-trainee relationship. They'll have great adventures though.

I realized when I got back to my room here that my phone was missing! It must have fallen out of my purse at the karaoke place. I called the place but there was a language barrier and a loud karaoke happening in the background barrier so I'm not sure they know what's happening, but I will stop by tomorrow in the hope that they have my phone. If losing my phone is payment for the amazing weekend I had, it was worth it. But I still want it back.

Kicks just keep getting harder to find.

The hottest trend among novice monks here in Ban Phe is flipflip carving. It makes sense, since their clothing is standard-issue saffron robes, that these teenagers would want to show a little bit of originality. Here's a sampling.



I got myself some new kicks yesterday too. I hope they'll take me on a great journey.



There has been a change of plans. I finished my TEFL training today. Goodbye, monastery school.



but the company that brough me over had a falling out with their biggest recruiter, which means that most of my class was not able to get placement at schools in other parts of Thailand. Instead, about 10 or 11 of our 18-person class (including me) are going to stay here in Ban Phe and work at Siam English Training School. There are worse places to live, for sure.



The monkey wrench is that the new positions don't start until early November which means I get a two week vacation. So instead of traveling around Southeast Asia after my teaching is finished (and worrying about where to store my stuff during that time,) I'm leaving my luggage safely at the TEFL school and traveling now. I'm not bringing my laptop, but I hope to visit Internet cafes to keep you up to date. I might not post any pictures. I'm tentatively going to visit Cambodia and maybe Laos, and be back here to start work around November 9th. That date is tentative; this is Thailand.

Yesterday

I don't get to actually sit down with the Internet very often, but hopefully within the next couple of weeks when I get my teaching placement it will be in a place where the Internet is a little more convenient. This week I taught my first two classes. It was a learning experience, and I teach more classes next week. In the afternoons and evenings I've spent a lot of quality time with the ocean.



My hotel sits across the street from the beach. On the side of the street with the hotel, there are other (mostly empty this time of year) hotels and some small restaurants. On the beach side, there are lots of beach chairs and umbrellas and tables. Sometimes people order food and then walk across the street to eat on the beach. Sometimes at night people drag sound equipment down there and throw karaoke beach parties.

On Wednesday after school I joined some of my fellow TEFLers at the beach. There was a huge jellyfish in the water, and some of them were trying to play with it while others were keeping their distance. These shots are from my underwater camera.





The top feels like nubbly plastic. It's not at all what I expected. That is not my hand; one of the brave gentlemen was making sure it was safe.

The jellyfish had a live crab inside of it, which later escaped when it was herded to shore for further investigation. Afterward, jellyfish was promptly returned to the water alive. Crab wandered away.

On Thursday I headed down to the beach with a book after class. The sky was clear with some haziness at the horizon and wispy white clouds overhead. Behind me, inland, the sky was overcast but light gray. I was hoping for a spectacular sunset. I sat down with my book (The Masked Rider, by Neil Peart) and started to read. I noticed a flash on the page, which I thought could absolutely not be lightning behind me, until a good few seconds later thunder rumbled above me. This was the longest, loudest thunderclap I have ever heard. I looked around behind me and the sky was still light gray. This happened again until the sky started to downpour on me, and I hurried across the street to take shelter at a restaurant and eat dinner (garlicky squid on rice.) Sudden weather changes are typical this time of year.

Most of my TEFL class was going to go out Friday night for karaoke to celebrate the birthday of one of my fellow students. Our instructor mentioned that a bunch of the TEFL employees and students from the other TEFL class were going to Rayong (the big city with the giant TESCO Lotus) for karaoke that night and that we were welcome to join them. This sounded like a great idea!

So we rented a songthaew (that's a pickup truck with two benches in the bed and a roof on top) and 14 of us rode into Rayong. We joined the TEFL group at a huge restaurant/bar where a cover band was playing songs in Thai and English. After an hour or so of this, the whole horde (about 25 people) walked to the karaoke place where we had a private room. This was amazingly fun. There were a fair number of English selections. I sang "A Whole New World" from Aladdin and "Desperado." I also sang "Yesterday." While I had a great time, I'm glad that I don't work at the karaoke bar. Having to listen to other people's karaoke parties all night long might be one of the worst jobs.



I'll leave you with Chaoying. She seems to live in the Condochain lobby. Her coloring reminds me of my kitty Clarice. She's chewing on my camera strap here.

Spotty Internet

Alas, my accommodation at TEFL training lacks Internet! The Buddhist monastery where I learn to teach and practice teaching has Wi-Fi (is that weird?) but it was quite spotty during the end-of-monsoon season thunderstorm this afternoon.

My first night here, I watched the sunset over the gulf of Thailand.





I probably won't be blogging much here. I hope you understand.